yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
