I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Everything about him screamed your future.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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