it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
