May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize