Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
