so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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