hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
