didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
