So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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