Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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