btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I got inside last night via doggy door
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
