i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize