We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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