I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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