Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize