Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
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Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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