If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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