Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
