i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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