the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
vagina is talking i cant
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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