I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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