apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.