Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
