My hand turned me down
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
