he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize