im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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