Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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