I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
