"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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