it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
