fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Randomize
