You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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