I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
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It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
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either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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