I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
