Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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