It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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