Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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