is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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