my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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