if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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