thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
