So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
