you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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