Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
