on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
