its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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