can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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