There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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