You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
