Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
