would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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