Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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