i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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