Just cropdusted the office
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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