I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
