I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
