So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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