So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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